Kylie Jenner Rocks World’s Tiniest Top: What Do You Guys Like Better, My Cleavage or My $36M Mansion?

Kylie Jenner Rocks World’s Tiniest Top: What Do You Guys Like Better, My Cleavage or My $36M Mansion?

For years, fans have been asking the question, who is the hottest member of the Kardashian-Jenner family?

There’s no easy answer, and the matter is entirely a matter of taste.

Unless, of course, you’re Kylie Jenner, in which case, the answer is clearly “Kylie Jenner.”

Yes, whatever else she might be insecure about (we’re sure it’s a very short list), Kylie certainly has no doubts about her hotness.

It’s a part of the Kylie Jenner brand, which, of course, is one of the lucrative personal brands on earth.

But in any area of life, the true greats do it not for the money, but because it’s what they were born to do.

Tom Brady doesn’t continue winning Super Bowls because he needs the cash.

LeBron James doesn’t keep dominating the NBA because he’s short on rent.

And Kylie Jenner doesn’t post thirst traps just for the sake of lining her pockets.

The woman is an artist.

She’s the Cezanne of Selfies, the Botticelli of Booty Pics.

Her posts are studies in composition and the creative use of cleavage.

Peep, for example, Kylie’s latest pic, in which she fully dominates the color red, effectively making it her b-tch.

Red has been the most vibrant color on the spectrum for millennia, but Kylie was basically like, “Yeah, let’s find out who attracts the most attention, MFer.”

We don’t think anyone would deny that Kylie is hotter than red, but to return to our original question, is Kylie the hottest Kar-Jenner?

Our opinion on this vitally important matter changes from day to day, but today, we’re giving Kylie the top spot.

But it’s not for the reasons you might assume.

Obviously, Kylie looks great in her latest selfies, but members of the extended Kardashian clan rarely post pics in which they look anything other than stunning.

So looks alone are not enough to claim the prize in this contest.

No, we’re giving Kylie the W because of her house.

As you can see, Kylizzle is lounging poolside in her latest pics, and while it looks like it’s not quite swimsuit weather in her latest pic, it soon will be.

Kylie purchased a $36 million mansion just before the pandemic, which means she might’ve had the coolest quarantine arrangement of anyone on the planet.

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But now, the weather is warming up and America is re-opening.

And we like to think Kylie is sending her 200 million followers an important message with this pic.

That message? Get yourself a friend with a pool.

Obviously, that’s not the sort of thing Kylie has to worry about, but she’s sending this early reminder out to the peasantry so that we don’t mess around and wind up missing out on two summers in a row.

Look, last summer was hella lame, there’s no denying it.

But Kylie is performing a public service by reminding us all that the heat and sunshine will be here before you know it, and the time to start planning is now.

We don’t want to say Kylie is the most selfless and humble public figure in the history of ever …

She’s a poster of thirst traps, and a single mom/CEO who set the business world on fire before she could legally buy a drink.

At the height of Kylie’s quarantine content, we praised her ability to keep things fresh while at the same time never straying too far from what made her so wildly popular in the first place.

Of course, that’s a tricky balancing act, and it can often be difficult to imagine what’s next for Kylie.

She was so successful at such a young age that it’s tough to imagine a future in which she doesn’t suffer from burn-out or over-exposure.

But fortunately it seems that Kylie has a plan.

When thinking about her future, Kylizzle apparently takes a page from the book of fellow eccentric billionaire Elon Musk.

The two may not seem to have much in common, but they’re both members of the ultra-elite ten-figure club — and they’re both interested in the freakin’ cosmos, man.

Elon’s obsession with space is well-documented, but we’re jumping to conclusions about Kylie’s desire to explore the galaxy on the basis of her most recent pics.

As you can see, Stormi’s mom is a big fan of this spacey bodysuit.

She can be seen rocking the same outfit in multiple Instagram posts this week, which is unusual for Kylizzle.

Is she trying to tell us that she’s booked a seat on Elon’s first passenger flight to the Red Planet?

Or maybe she’s already been to space, but the other elites made her sign a non-disclosure agreement, so she’s forced to communicate with her Instagram followers in code, a la Britney Spears.

In all likelihood, Kylie just got this space suit delivered from whatever the mega-rich person’s equivalent of Amazon is, and she posed for a few bored selfies while hanging out at home.

But still, it demonstrates a willingness to stray a bit further from the fashion mainstream than her sisters.

Perhaps Kylie has been influenced by the avant garde tastes of her former brother-in-law Kanye West.

After all, Kylie was still in her teens when Kim and Kanye got hitched, and insiders say she regarded him not as an in-law, but as a sibling.

And if there’s one member of the extended Kard clan who we could imagine becoming obsessed with space and rocking interplanetary gear while chillin’ at home, it’s Kanye.

Maybe the Kylie-Kanye connection will remain strong even after Kim’s divorce is finalized.

Maybe, along with their mutual buddy Elon, they’ll all head to Mars together and start a colony for ludicrously wealthy weirdos.

Or maybe we’re reading way too much into Kylie’s latest fashion statement.

Hey, until everyone is vaccinated, we’re still stuck at home with nothing better to do but obsess over Kylie’s Instagram page.

And in all likelihood, Kylie is well aware of this, which is why she keeps trying out weird new looks to keep her hundreds of millions of followers entertained.

It’s a question that has plagued mankind since the dawn of civilization — or at least for the past two or three years.

Who is the hottest member of the Kardashian-Jenner famly?

Now, you could go off the beaten path and cast your vote for Rob, Kris, or Caitlyn, but it seems that every time this very important topic is broached, the front-runners are Kim, Kourtney, and Kylie.

The sisters themselves probably aren’t as consumed by this question as the assortment of internet weirdos who are in constant, creepy debate over it.

But knowing Kim and company, they probably reflect on it from time to time, and they probably have an opinion on where they rank in the hierarchy of hotness.

And when the Kar-Jenners gather for one of their famous group thirst traps, you can bet that they’re trying their best to out-hot one another.

Now usually, these occasions offer an excuse to re-ignite the old Kim vs. Kylie feud.

These two are not only the most popular members of the Kard clan, they’re also the richest — by a wide margin.

Kylie became the world’s youngest “self-made” billionaire last year, and Kim joined the 10-figure club shortly thereafter, thanks to the success of her Skims shapewear line.

So it’s not hard to see why the two siblings are so frequently compared to one another.

This time around, we’ve got a three-way race with Kourtney tossing her hat in the ring.

In their latest, the three sisters — whose ages range from 41 to 23 — posed in nude-colored bikinis, and the results speak for themselves:

Obviously, when the Kardashian-Jenner sisters pose in bikinis, we’re all winners.

But as usual, the internet wants to turn this into a competiiton and declare a decisive victor.

The photo was posted on Kylie’s Instagram page, so it makes sense that she positioned herself in the middle, thus making herself the focal point.

So she has a bit of an unfair advantage in that respect.

Of course, Kim and Kourtney deserve major points for being 40-something multiple moms who are still flaunting absolutely insane figures.

Kylie clearly had her eyes on the prize this week, so she gave herself another leg up by posting what some are calling her raciest pic yet:

Now, that’s saying a lot, considering Kylie has posed for Playboy, and she frequently posts selfies that put Instagram’s no-nipple policy to the test.

But we can see why Kylie’s latest is drawing so much attention.

It’s not every day that an A-list celebrity posts a photo in which they’re clad entirely in see-through fabric.

Kim and Kourtney would have to wrap themselves in Saran-Wrap to outdo Kylie on this one.

And so, the youngest of the Kar-Jenner sisters ekes out a narrow victory this time around, but Kim and Kourtney can pride themselves on the fact that she needed to stuff the ballots in order to pull it out.

With any luck, Kim and Kourtney are planning their visual clap-backs at this very moment.